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Finding meaning in stuff. For Jews, the last ten days have been a time for contemplating the past and thinking about a better future. Also during the same time, my husband and I inventoried our objets d’arte.  This was clearly a disconnect. Or was it? Can there be an honorable connection between blatant materialism and spirituality?  

I took pictures of art and artifacts and attached information and monetary values. Surveying one’s treasures is definitely materialistic. Yet, this project made me realize that the real value of these objects could not be written on a piece of paper. Our collection reflects who we are…our adventures, our partnership, our taste, and our differences. Our collection inspired reflection.  

And…this may be a stretch…this week of accounting actually happened to echo some of the messages of the Days of Awe. One reason for documenting some of our possessions was for insurance purposes. On Rosh Hashanah, we were specifically reminded that life is unpredictable. All we can do is make our best decisions. 

The other, and more important, reason for cataloging our stuff is to provide our children with useful information. Although they will be uncomfortable with this stack of papers now, they will undoubtedly be appreciative in the future. During our days of spiritual contemplation, we focus on how we can be better persons. As we reflect, we acknowledge past transgressions and vow to be kinder in the future. Hopefully, our gift will be understood as an act of kindness. 

Painting clothes. I got to wear them twice last week. For me, this is the new dressing up. In the past when we dressed up, we thought “party” or “hot date” or “night out.” But now I think “studio” or “portrait workshop.” We used to dress up to please, now I simply go for ease. My painting wardrobe consists of very inexpensive shirts and pants and more stylish garments that have spots or tears. As these tops and bottoms are worn, they acquire a characteristic paintina. 

But, like in the past when we dressed up, I still dress appropriately for my special occasion. I am not a neat painter. I don’t know how I always manage to get paint on my clothes, on my nose, and on my toes. Really. I usually blame it on the pthalo green that flies from my palette. But, I am not terribly concerned, as I am focusing on the model and on my painting. 

As I have probably written in the past, I learned an important painting and drawing lesson from my father: “Spend more time looking at what you’re drawing than at your drawing.” Since I have had only a few portrait painting opportunities since hibernating, I am reacquainting myself with this important lesson. I know that in order to create a likeness, I must follow this rule throughout my painting session.

So, this week I concentrated. Twice. My Tuesday session consisted of four socially distanced artists and a model. Katrina posed for about two and a half hours, with breaks, of course. I was merrily painting along when I realized that the eyes were too far apart. Apparently, I had lost her focus and mine. So, with only a half hour to go, I attempted to make her right. I wish there had been more time to capture her likeness and refine the painting.

On Thursday, five artists spread out in a huge studio as we painted my husband. Bob had generously volunteered to model when the previously scheduled model had to cancel. The challenge was to get this one right, since it would be clear to many of my viewers whether or not I captured Bob’s likeness. So I stared at Bob and painted for nearly four hours. I had a wonderful time.

As I sit at my computer recalling last week’s painting sessions, I am decked out in my writing apparel…pajamas. 

I have been watching some art videos on how to paint portraits and urban landscapes. I skip the ones on how to paint flowers and waterfalls. The host of these videos is Eric Rhoads. On a recent video, Eric wrapped up by saying that the job of an artist is to help others see the beauty in the world and to look away from pain and angst. I liked that. It seemed obvious. No pain and so much to gain. Until I thought about it.

It dawned on me that I don’t want a job. I am retired. I don’t want a responsibility or a lofty social purpose. My art reflects my interests, mood, and temperament. I simply “paint how I think and feel.” I do not have a mission. At best, “I hope that my observations resonate with you.” Having said that, it so happens that I do not express angst in my paintings. If viewers see beauty, so much the better. 

But others do express pain and angst in their art. They, too, may simply be painting their feelings, without intending to make a social statement. Making art can be cathartic and therapeutic. Other artists do feel the need to communicate their feelings and opinions. During these times, art is a powerful messenger. This is a time for activism and commentary. 

I was reminded of this complexity while looking at the current exhibit Inside Out: Emerging from Isolation. One sees the gamut of artistic responses during this pandemic. The art and their labels are revealing. Some of the art is a consciously stated effort to keep anxiety and chaos at bay. Beautiful, nostalgic art has found its way into this exhibit. One artist is “pushing back the darkness.” Some of the artwork deals directly with our troubled times…acceptance, solitude, concern, gratitude, uncertainty, loneliness, and stress.   

It’s just not simple. We do what we do for our own reasons. The trick is for each of us to know why.